Why do we suffer every time things happen in a different way from what we expected? The answer is right there in the middle of the question itself, ’cause we expect from the very beginning.
In daily life comparative thinking is a great way to go by when you have to decide for a better option, a better job, whether to do one thing or another, and pretty much everything when it’s about choices in front of us.
On the other hand, when it is about feelings and inner life this way of thinking is the right (meaning wrong) track to start suffering about everything we wish and everything that actually happens. Why? Well, it’s kinda simple. When you compare situations regarding inner life you’re making one seem the right part and the other the bad part, then when something happens other than what you thought to be the right thing to happen it automatically becomes “wrong”. See?
Here’s an example: You think that receiving a hug every time to meet someone is right, and if someone doesn’t hug you as you meet then you think something’s wrong. Been there? Another example? OK, how ‘bout this: You think that when you’re dating someone receiving a daily good-morning-sweetie message is the right thing to happen, then if you don’t receive it you feel something’s off. Got any kind of experiences like this? Bet you do!
Then what should we do? It’s simple indeed, what’s a bit difficult (at least at the beginning) is learning how to get off from fake life values that make us think that finding friendship, love, success, happiness or any other thing that matters to us depends on sacrificing parts of us. It also depends on learning to stop expecting something from anything or anyone.
Let life take its course and have the patience to observe things happen even if it is not easy to do so.
Live, love, learn and let go.