Conflict in relationships: How to deal with it?

Mónica De Salazar
3 min readJan 10, 2023

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Conflict in relationships is something that we all have experienced at one point or another. Whether it is between romantic partners, family members, friends or work peers, conflict can often lead to hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and damaged relationships. This problem can scale as personal tensions impact other areas and systems.

Here are some points to consider as you work in having healthier and more meaningful connections and relationships. Remember that self-responsibility is key to better relationships:

Conflict Resolution Technique

The most important thing when trying to work through a conflict is to establish open and respectful communication. Both parties should be able to discuss their differences in a calm manner, without resorting to name calling or other forms of aggression. Also, each person should be asked to express their feelings and concerns without interruption or judgement. Then, try to come up with a compromise that works for both parties.

Empathy

Instead of focusing on who is right and wrong, the most important thing is to try to understand each other’s perspective. Encourage each person to listen to the other’s point of view and consider their feelings. Ask questions and try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

The goal is to understand what the other perceives and experiences instead of being attached to a single sided perspective. Additionally, both parties should strive to be mindful of their words and actions, as these can have a big impact on the relationship.

Self-Awareness

Conflict resolution requires both parties to be self-aware. To accomplish this, it is very important that each party reflect on their own thoughts and feelings, and how they contribute to the conflict. Ask each person to think about what they can do to reduce friction and to commit to those actions.

Respect

Respect is key to resolving any conflict. Active listening is an important tools, involving listening without making judgements, avoiding inner mental dialogue, and accepting the other’s point of view without trying to change it. Remember that each person is entitled to their own perception and point of view.

Communication

It is important for both parties to be able to freely share their thoughts, feelings and opinions without fear of judgement or criticism.

This can be done by creating an open and safe environment where both people can speak their minds without fear of consequences.

To ensure that communication is effective and constructive, each person should agree to listen to one another without interruption and strive to have an open mind when discussing their differences.

Open mind

It is also important that both parties to have an open mind when it comes to resolving the issue. Both sides should be willing to compromise in order to reach a resolution. This can be done by understanding and respecting each other’s perspectives and working together to come up with a solution that works for both.

Additionally, it is important to set reasonable expectations and be willing to adjust those expectations as needed. Finally, both sides should be willing to talk things through and come to an agreement that is mutually beneficial.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” — Dale Carnegie.

Conclusion

It is important for those in conflict to be open to listening and to being heard, in order to truly understand one another.

However, with the help of communication and understanding, it is possible to resolve conflict and strengthen relationships. These 7 attitudes can be useful to help you work through conflicts in relationships and build healthier connections:

  1. Take the time to really listen to one another.
  2. Avoid blame and focus on the issue at hand.
  3. Acknowledge each other’s feelings and perspectives.
  4. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions.
  5. Don’t give up on the relationship.
  6. Come up with solutions that are mutually beneficial.
  7. Seek professional help if necessary.

By following these steps, you can work through conflicts in relationships. Finding a resolution that is mutually beneficial is the ultimate goal.

Smoothing things out in stressed relationships goes beyond the relationship itself. Communication is key to resolving conflicts, and it is important to take the time to do so.

Working out conflicts is a way to protect the systems that are related to specific relationships, for example: family, work environment, social tissue… and more.

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Mónica De Salazar

Green MBA + #CreativeProblemSolving Consultant. Focused on Business Strategy for Digital, Social and Environmental transformation. Founder of @LifeStrategics.